Krazy for Kaballah

All the celebrity Kaballah news you can handle... and then some...

Today's news all somehow revolves around Kabbalah, the greatest celebrity religious fad since Scientology. Don't know what Kabbalah is? Check out this Kabbalah FAQ

Guy Riche tells Rabbi I'll "break yer face"

...and he looks like he means it

GUY RITCHIE threatened to "break the face" of one of MADONNA’s Kabbalah advisers, sparking a furious row between the superstar couple.

Brit Guy was angry at constant interfering by the rabbi and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck before making his threat.

A source told me: "Guy was spitting mad. He looked like he was about to throw punches.

"Madonna’s security staff were all twitching in anticipation of a full-scale scrap."

The row happened last Friday backstage at the Miami concert hall where Madonna was rehearsing dance steps for the latest leg of her Re-invention world tour.

The singer was repeatedly distracted by the rabbi while she and Guy were trying to talk.

After one interruption too many, Guy -- the director of Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels -- finally cracked.

The source added: "He reared up, the veins were sticking out of his forehead. He grabbed the guy’s shirt and pulled him so they were nose to nose.

"He just snarled, ‘If you don’t back off I’m going to break yer face.’ It was scary. He wasn’t kidding and it certainly wasn’t very Kabbalah."

Madonna pulled her hubby away then screamed at him: "Don’t ****ing embarrass me" before they both stormed off and drove away.

The crew expected Madonna back but she didn’t return. When she turned up the following day, she was in a foul mood.

Guy is also into the religion but not as deeply as is wife. He fears she may have gone too far.

I revealed last month how she wears an earpiece during rehearsals to receive advice from a rabbi who watches her on stage.

Is it just me, or is Madonna starting to look more and more like grandma every day?

Madonna and Guy have a strong but fiery marriage and I’m assured there’s no chance of them breaking up. But surely all this Kabbalah nonsense must stop.

Madonna kicks off the UK leg of her tour in Manchester on August 14 -- and it’s worth every penny of the extortionate ticket prices.

_______________________________________________________________

In the vain of other weird news somehow connected to Madonna and Kabbalah. According the The Sun, pop culture barometer Britney Spears is the next in a line of celebrites that have converted to Kabbalah, the beloved bastardized form of Jewish mysticism. Needless to say thousands of pop culture whores, mindless sorority celebrity worshipers, and teeny bopping MTv junkies will follow -- most of whom will be hot.

"Britney was persuaded by MADONNA to take up the mystical Jewish faith."

"Since then Brit has had a series of Hebrew symbols tattooed on her neck."

Gentlemen, in 2004, converting to Kabbalah might be the way to get hot chicks. Just putting that one out there.

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