Celebrity Bathwater

First there were rumors that Mad Men was going to be canceled, and then there were rumors that two yet-unnamed members of the show’s cast are being cut, but I can think of two reasons Christina Hendricks’ character isn’t going anywhere. I’m talking about her on-screen magnetism and the potential that her affair-spawned pregnancy affords the next season, of course. Honestly, you need to get your mind out of the gutter sometime.

At the launch of Vivienne Westwood’s Palladium Jewellery Collection in L.A. last night:

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Behold, the new sandwich this year at PNC Park in Pittsburgh: “The Pulled Pork and Pierogi Stacker piles house-smoked pulled pork on top of a Breadworks pretzel roll with caramelized onions and two potato pierogies.”

Baseball is great. If you need further elaboration on that comment, you can find me on the exact spot where this sandwich is sitting in the photo, ending my life. It’s been BUN, y’all! (As in, pretzel instead of one. Can’t make sentence logic, brain pre-emptively saving energy to digest this sandwich.)

Oh, and another one for good measure:

“The Stuffed Pepper Hoagie stuffs a banana pepper packed with sausage and cheese into a hoagie roll, and then tops it with fresh marinara.”

What the hell, our fanbase has been suicidal for almost two decades anyway, might as well find a way to work a stuffed banana pepper into it and whip two birds with one rodlike clogged artery.

(via @mattmono3)

When you think of the original Michael J. Fox Teen Wolf, what comes to mind? Super dark, violent, gritty, lots of inner-turmoil, super-gritty wolf-inspired dance craze scene? Me too! All of those things in that order. Here’s the trailer for the new MTV Teen Wolf series, which really captures the dark, isolated feel of the original film that Eugene Mirman once summed up with the one-sentence description, “I want to f*ck but also I’m a wolf!”

The only part I don’t get is, why does him being a wolf make him suddenly great at lacrosse? We all know that the ONLY sport affected by wolf powers is basketball, and that they also rub off on your teammate if he’s Francis from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure:

It doesn’t look as much like Teen Wolf as it does some other movie, but I can’t quite put my werewolf or vampire finger on it…

There was a time when James Van Der Beek was known to the world as Dawson Leery on Dawson’s Creek. Time passed, and suddenly, JVDB (which we will refer to him in standard JCVD format from now on) became known on the internet as a single, epic image: A GIF of him crying. That meme was so viral that Dawson himself got in on the joke, and the website James Van Der Memes was born.

But as of this week, JVDB will be known for something entirely new. It’s been announced that he’ll be hosting the 2011 Logo’s New Now Next Awards, airing April 10 at 10 PM on Logo! That’s right: DAWSON IS HOSTING. Especially exciting for me, as I’ll be conducting exclusive backstage interviews with presenters and winners, which you can check out during the broadcast over at LogoTV.com!

So, to get people pumped up for what is easily the funnest awards show on the planet, we’ve put together the Ultimate James Van Der Beek GIF Wall. Get the eyewash out in case, it’s a lot to take in.

FIN-AL-LY. After years of Twilight Saga no sex here is some Twilight Saga sex! Sort of! In the form of stills from the forthcoming Breaking Dawn.

In the book, which I literally flipped through to get to the sexy times and then after reading dropped into a shredder, stuff gets rough. It’s not erotic fiction or anything. But these stills look promising. As well they should, every teenage girl/middle age lady has been dying for this. If they are let down a mass cry will be released into the universe, tearing the sky asunder. And we don’t want that. We need our sky. More sexy times here.

Clive Owen has grown a mustache. And with it, a child molester’s ‘do. Clive Owen would probably like to have a seat over here, if you know what I mean. I mean he looks like he has sexual relations with children.