Celebrity Bathwater

Meet Cindy, an eight-year-old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel whose family has ingeniously taught how to balance things on her little dog face and little dog hands and feet. Cindy's owners claim the dog enters a "trance-like" state which, according to us, equally evokes both "real doggy pain" and "secret genius eyes" at the very same time -- a true skill! All kidding aside, the following quote, along with those cheerios, brought real human tears of emotion to our eyes: "She is not in the best of health with a weak heart and arthritis. Her legs are strengthened with steel implants." Keep that sentence in mind while staring at the following photo of little Cindy after the jump, where she auditions to be an out of work actress/Cheesecake Factory waitress: IT'S TOO MUCH.

From POPBYTES -- Sooooo, American Idol is still in it's top-whatever. Meaning, the uncomfortably-poor performances are done, and now we're voting off the karaoke singers. Check out these rejects, after the jump! four more idol hopefuls go home
good evening! it's been a super busy day which included a dentist appointment (ugh) and picking up my parents at the airport - they just got back from hawaii and will be spending a few days here in LA before heading back to NY! as soon as my mom got in the car she immediately had to know who was booted from american idol this evening - first jason yeager left who was the main guy i was hoping would go home - he was just way cheesy and awful! then alaina whitaker was given the boot - i think unfairly - that annoying girl kady malloy should have left yet ms. whitaker i think made a mistake by singing 'hopelessly devoted to you' - i do love 'grease' but if i never heard it again - i wouldn't miss it! out next was alexandrea lushington (great last name) who i really liked and was totally bummed about - i liked her whole peace out style! both girls out tonight looked visibly upset and with good reason - they should have stayed! the last one to go was robbie carrico - the whole wig scandal must have freaked people out - a confirmation of his suspected inauthenticity - he did have a certain rocker cuteness about him but i was spooked by the thought of him rockin' a wig too! i'm so glad tomorrow is friday - it's been a crazy week! popbytes over & out for tonight...xxoo!

• OFFER: Lindsay Lohan might have a lucrative new career ahead of her... playing the reanimated albeit befreckled corpse of Marilyn Monroe. Hugh Hefner has asked Lindsay to appear in Playboy. And mother Dina Lohan has agreed to this, under one condition: That Lindsay appear totally ass-crack and full-frontal naked. Breeding! (Showbiz Spy)
• FUN-ON SENTENCE: Finally, those Filipino Dancing Prisoners are getting the punishment they deserve... by doing a giant choreographed routine to Soulja Boy and MC Hammer. Take that, law breakers! (Break.com)
• WEBFIND: Sure, it might not really be that accurate, but "Song Tapper" is still a pretty fun little website. On a related note, anyone else remember that classic Married With Children episode involving the classic line (at least in my household) "Hmm Hmm Himmm"? Just want to gauge how highbrow/lowbrow you guys are... (SongTapper)
• THE ONE TIME ROBIN WILLIAMS' PRESENCE CAN ACTUALLY BE A GOOD THING: When you are having technical difficulties. Seriously, his material on the Apple computers is priceless. (Wired)
• FOR ALL YOU LA PEOPLE OUT THERE: MTV is giving you the opportunity to dance for a chance to be on television! Dancing! ON TV! It's all too much to handle. And all dancers are welcome! Even you ballroom types. Don't miss it. (Oh No They Didn't)

Well, America, it seems like the worst has happened. Just when you thought babies couldn't get any mongoloidier than the Britney-K-Fed mash-ups to date, Britney Spears goes and gets impregnated (allegedly) with an altogether more rotten seed: The seed that belongs to Adnan Ghalib. For rallll. According to Star Magazine, Britney is pregnant with Ghalib's baby!

Only weeks after Britney Spears drove to Rosarita Beach, Mexico to exchange marriage vows with Adnan Ghalib, the paparazzo is bragging to friends that she is going to have his baby, Star has learned exclusively. And what do you know! The fallen pop princess' belly is starting to show a little bulge, in spite of hours of classes at the Millennium Dance Complex. "Britney is Adnan's dream come true. He knows that if he has a child with Brit, he'll be made for life," one friend of Adnan's tells Star.

While a baby between Britney and Adnan would officially be "one of the worst things to ever happen in modern history", you gotta admit... a Mini-Ghalib would be ADORABLE! And just THINK of how many small knit hats and baby beard grooming kits Britney's fortune could afford them!

• Angelina Jolie showed off her baby bump, and this is news, demands Associated Press.
• See what happens when Ryan Seacrest tries to make witty banter with Jennifer Garner and Laura Linney, then Gary Busey shows up out of nowhere looking to eat someone's soul.
• Sean Penn was seen gallivanting about town last night with his new supermodel girlfriend Petra Nemcova, who we had no idea was into older dudes who just can't shut up about Bush.
• Lindsay Lohan finally settled her lawsuit with the busboy she hit while driving back in '05. He received a hundred dollars, an HD-DVD copy of I Know Who Killed Me, and a personally written text message reading, "Sorry 4 hittin' U w/ my car. Waz waaaysted back then, LOL!"
• And speaking of I Know Who Killed Me, Lohan helped the film bring home a staggering 8 Razzie Awards for all-around terribleness, tying the all-time record set by Showgirls.

It’s that magical time of year when the weeks of drinking laxative tea and binge exercising until their little black hearts almost give out pays off in spades for Hollywood actresses. It’s called the Academy Awards, and thanks to the timely end of the Writer’s Strike, it went off without a hitch last night. The big winner of the evening was “No Country for Old Men,” taking home the Oscars for Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Adapted Screenplay. There were various other boring awards for movies you’ll never see, but I know you want me to shut the hell up and start talking fashion. This year’s Oscars was all about fabric — the more fabric, the merrier. Plenty of ruching, gathering, organza overlay and fishtails. My favorites of the evening were Penelope Cruz in her custom Chanel gown and Kerri Russell’s vintage floral necklace. But there were plenty of others…

Anne Hathaway’s flowered and draped red Marchesa gown somehow made it despite my first instinct to write it off for excessive use of foliage. I usually detest red lips, too, but she manages to keep hers from looking harsh and Bozo-the-Clownish. Her hair and the rest of her makeup is very simple, which keeps the gratuitous excess of the dress in check. Congratulations, Anne — you defied the odds:

Cameron Diaz wore a pale pink Dior by John Galliano bustier gown. I’m not wild about the dress, but I like the color, and that business at the hips works for her because she’s built like a twelve-year old boy:

Jennifer Garner wore a black silk taffeta Oscar de la Renta fishtail gown. I think Oscar could have eased up on those big fat ruffles at the bottom and Jen’s hair looks like a damn combover, but overall it was a success:

Penelope Cruz had a navy Chanel Haute Couture feathered gown designed specifically for her for the big event. It’s over the top and princessy, I know, but for some reason I love it on her. She kept her jewelery and makeup simple, and like Anne Hathaway, that keeps the dress from looking garish. Kudos:

Nicole Kidman wore classically simple black Balenciaga dress. The main attraction here is obviously the 1,399-carat diamond L’Wren Scott necklace hanging down to her waist. I went back and forth on this one. It kind of looks like she pulled down a chandelier from a late 1900’s whorehouse and draped it around her neck. But then again, I really like her dress. And diamonds are shiny. You see my dilemna here. I’ll leave it up to you:

Hilary Swank has a knack for red carpet glamor. Her one-shouldered Atelier Versace gown isn’t my favorite of the dresses she’s worn, but it’s not bad either. Makeup, hair and accessories are all simple, which makes the flowers on the bodice not as hideously distracting:

Renee Zellweger gives a whole new meaning to the term “alabaster” in her hand-embroidered Carolina Herrera gown. I have to hand it to her — she looks fantastic. And her face is way less ruddy and scabby than usual. Looks like Chappy really dressed to impress last night!:

Keri Russel’s 46-carat-diamond H. Stern necklace paired perfectly with her strapless Nina Ricci organza bustier dress. I loved her look more than any other of the night. That necklace is fantastic. Not so hot? Standing like you’ve got gout:

Laura Linney wore a black strapless fishtail Michael Kors gown with a diamond and blue topaz pendant. Simple, classic, elegant, blah blah blah:

Kristin Chenoweth worked an hour-glass figure in a sheer black Armani Prive dress. Her hair looks like crap, but I love the diamond cuff and her skin is like buttah. Nice rack, too. Hooray for boobies!:

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