Celebrity Bathwater

Not only is the Lil' Rambo Reviewer (aka, "Sexman", seriously) the world's foremost authority on the artistic merit of Sylvester Stallone's latter-career re-visiting of 80's action icons, he's also a leading social commentator with some important issues on his mind, as we learn in this video, in which he takes on the entire community of YouTube-based "porn advertisers". As he so eloquently puts it to the perverts of the world: "Get a life and stop jackin' it", a sentiment that will undoubtedly make for an excellent ironic T-shirt slogan once I finish making this kid famous (or getting him into deep sh*t with his folks, or both). But seriously, guys - get a life and stop jackin' it, for real. Find a chick and have sex with her, then maybe you'll feel a little better about yourself. And thanks to Les Shizzle for understanding this kid's genius before the rest of us.

Christina Aguilera’s baby is worth more in utero than out. (Jossip)

Ellen Pompeo’s headlights are on. (CelebSlam)

Dr. Phil still owes money people money. (Pretty Boring)

Hayden Panettiere sucks. Literally. (Tasteful Celebs)

Rihanna’s mustachioed Got Milk ad. (Hollywood Headache)

Ethan Hawke knocks up the help. (About: Celebrity Gossip)

“Oprahtastic” = “All hips and saggy tits.” (Websters)

Seriously, though, how gay is ‘Top Gun?’ (City Rag)

Name That Celebrity: “stumbling into the woods and talking to the trees” edition. (Holy Moly!)

Midnight in the Garden of good and sexy! (Goldenfiddle)

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From POP SUGAR -- Can someone tell all of the "awards" people that Casey Affleck has been awesome since Good Will Hunting? Either or, it's nice to see the "off-beat" actors getting some street cred. Check out the honorees, after the jump! Santa Barbara Honors The Year's Film Virtuosos

The Santa Barbara Film Festival is still bringing out the stars. First I marveled at their cavalcade of hot guys — Gosling, Bardem, Reynolds and last night some of the year's biggest breakout stars all trekked up for the party. It was the 2008 Virtuosos Tribute with Casey Affleck, Amy Ryan, Marion Cotillard, Ellen Page and James McAvoy, award show staples this season. I'm loving Amy Ryan's blue blue dress and Ellen Page is always adorable — though, just a little awkward on the red carpet still. Meanwhile, I've gotta say I'm more of a Casey Affleck girl myself, but between him and Mr. McAvoy which do you prefer?

To see more of these Virtuosos just

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According to my GFJ (...Gay Friend Jon), Hebrew Gay Disco is the "Next Big Thing". He says, and I quote, "There is so much gay sh*t coming out of Israel right now!" The thing is, we weren't even aware disco was back, much less gay and sung in Hebrew. But if this video, from an Israeli Gentlemen named Yehonathan (which we're hoping is pronounced "Yee-haw!-nathan") is any indication, Hebrew Gay Disco is on the rise. Check out his video for the song "In a Hot Summer Night", which features Hebraic dudes getting all up in each other's grill while simultaneously reenacting the gasoline scene from Zoolander. And a bonus! The entire thing is sprinkled with some Israeli dude-on-dude make-outs. How homo-exotic!

• Either the real "Ben Dover" has finally been located (and, against all odds, is a real estate agent), or a local news editor is having a little fun with the on-screen chyrons.
• Nude models are going on strike in Italy. The picket lines are expected to be awesome.
• Sure, turbulence can be a little scary when you're flying. But what about when your pilot comes on the loudspeaker, starts screaming and crying, then demands to speak with God?
• "Internet failure" has hit two continents. Actually, three if you count Perez Hilton.
• And finally, a moment of silence please, as today just so happens to be the one-year anniversary of that terrible day when the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie reduced the entire city of Boston to a terrified, Lite Brite-fearing city under siege.

Brad Pitt is reportedly through with acting and gearing up to enter the political arena. Probably because Angelina told him to. The Daily Mail says

Sources in the Democratic Party say he has been approached to run for mayor of New Orleans. His decision to follow into politics would certainly explain the couple’s decision to buy a £2million home in the disaster-hit Louisiana city.

He has hired his own “philanthropic adviser” Trevor Neilsen, who worked for President Clinton’s Washington administration, to boost his humanitarian credentials and set up his own “Make It Right” campaign to build ecohomes in New Orleans’ Ninth Ward.

To think — a marshmallow running the “Chocolate City.” Now that’s unexpected! The hardest thing about that would be deciding which dark-skinned immigrant group got to be the graham cracker crust in your delicious racial metaphor. My pick? The Kurds.

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You don't have to watch much of the trailer to tell that "What Happens In Vegas" is gonna be a terrible movie 90-minute commercial for Vegas complete piece of sh*t, but if you keep watching the trailer, you'll get to see Inexplicable Judge Dennis Miller sentence Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz to "six months of hard marriage". This may indeed top "Good Luck Chuck" and "Chuck and Larry" as the most effortful premise in romantic comedy history, and it doesn't even have "Chuck" in the title.