Archive for January, 2008

ICYMI: The Rambo Kid Would Also Like You Porn Fiends To ?Get A Life And Stop Jacking It?

h1 Thursday, January 31st, 2008
Not only is the Lil' Rambo Reviewer (aka, "Sexman", seriously) the world's foremost authority on the artistic merit of Sylvester Stallone's latter-career re-visiting of 80's action icons, he's also a leading social commentator with some important issues on his mind, as we learn in this video, in which he takes on the entire community of YouTube-based "porn advertisers". As he so eloquently puts it to the perverts of the world: "Get a life and stop jackin' it", a sentiment that will undoubtedly make for an excellent ironic T-shirt slogan once I finish making this kid famous (or getting him into deep sh*t with his folks, or both). But seriously, guys - get a life and stop jackin' it, for real. Find a chick and have sex with her, then maybe you'll feel a little better about yourself. And thanks to Les Shizzle for understanding this kid's genius before the rest of us.

The Santa Barbara Film Festival Comes To Town!

h1 Thursday, January 31st, 2008
From POP SUGAR -- Can someone tell all of the "awards" people that Casey Affleck has been awesome since Good Will Hunting? Either or, it's nice to see the "off-beat" actors getting some street cred. Check out the honorees, after the jump! Santa Barbara Honors The Year's Film Virtuosos

The Santa Barbara Film Festival is still bringing out the stars. First I marveled at their cavalcade of hot guys — Gosling, Bardem, Reynolds and last night some of the year's biggest breakout stars all trekked up for the party. It was the 2008 Virtuosos Tribute with Casey Affleck, Amy Ryan, Marion Cotillard, Ellen Page and James McAvoy, award show staples this season. I'm loving Amy Ryan's blue blue dress and Ellen Page is always adorable — though, just a little awkward on the red carpet still. Meanwhile, I've gotta say I'm more of a Casey Affleck girl myself, but between him and Mr. McAvoy which do you prefer?

To see more of these Virtuosos just

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VIDEO HITS ONE: Hebrew Gay Disco is Back! Challah!

h1 Thursday, January 31st, 2008
According to my GFJ (...Gay Friend Jon), Hebrew Gay Disco is the "Next Big Thing". He says, and I quote, "There is so much gay sh*t coming out of Israel right now!" The thing is, we weren't even aware disco was back, much less gay and sung in Hebrew. But if this video, from an Israeli Gentlemen named Yehonathan (which we're hoping is pronounced "Yee-haw!-nathan") is any indication, Hebrew Gay Disco is on the rise. Check out his video for the song "In a Hot Summer Night", which features Hebraic dudes getting all up in each other's grill while simultaneously reenacting the gasoline scene from Zoolander. And a bonus! The entire thing is sprinkled with some Israeli dude-on-dude make-outs. How homo-exotic!

That’s Mayor Brangelina To You

h1 Thursday, January 31st, 2008

Brad Pitt is reportedly through with acting and gearing up to enter the political arena. Probably because Angelina told him to. The Daily Mail says

Sources in the Democratic Party say he has been approached to run for mayor of New Orleans. His decision to follow into politics would certainly explain the couple’s decision to buy a £2million home in the disaster-hit Louisiana city.

He has hired his own “philanthropic adviser” Trevor Neilsen, who worked for President Clinton’s Washington administration, to boost his humanitarian credentials and set up his own “Make It Right” campaign to build ecohomes in New Orleans’ Ninth Ward.

To think — a marshmallow running the “Chocolate City.” Now that’s unexpected! The hardest thing about that would be deciding which dark-skinned immigrant group got to be the graham cracker crust in your delicious racial metaphor. My pick? The Kurds.

Britney No Shows To Court, Take 147

h1 Thursday, January 24th, 2008

Britney Spears requested an emergency hearing yesterday in an attempt to regain some sort of visitation rights, asking that she be allowed to spend time with the children in a medically supervised setting. Repeat: she requested the hearing. Unfortunately, she never actually showed up to the hearing yesterday, which didn’t help her case as much as you would think. According TMZ

Brit arrived at the courthouse and went through the metal detector, but then had a change of heart and didn’t want to go inside the courtroom. Brit wanted visitation restored in a “therapeutic setting” — meaning under the treatment of medical professionals — but that wasn’t gonna happen, especially since she never showed to make a plea. The Court noted Brit’s absence.

K-Fed [retains] sole custody and no visitation for Brit for now.

Before we jump to conclusions, has anyone considered that maybe she suffers from “Legal Batophobia,” or fear of court houses? I distinctly remember her saying “I’m scared, I’m scared” in the parking lot of the last hearing she missed. It makes perfect sense. In fact, a lot of her behavior lately makes sense if you take in her many irrational fears. I can think ten phobias she clearly suffers from right off the top of my head.


10. Trichophobia — fear of human hair. Hence the shitty weaves. That one’s pretty obvious.

9. Vestiphobia — fear of bras and support garments. Nipple much?

8. Dermapharmacophobia — fear of Clearasil and Stridex. Maybe she likes her boils!

7. Anrhypovestiphobia — fear of stain-resistant shirts. Stains add character.

6. Lachanophobia — fear of any foods not battered and deep-fried. Well, they’re not as tasty.

5. Eudacibophobia — fear of any food not sugar-coated. See #6.

4. Eudamelophobia — fear of good music. Anyone who’s purchased any of her albums knows exactly what I’m talking about here.

3. Hypengyophobia — fear of responsibility. Probably the impetus for the new personalities and the chronic lateness.

2. Monophobia — fear of being alone. Explains the paparazzi BFFs and the Sam Lufti entourage.

and the number one phobia plaguing Britney Jean Spears:

1. Pedophobia — fear of children. They always want you to do lame stuff like change their diapers and read books. So boring, it’s scary!

Britney doing what she does best — leaving court — yesterday morning:


IN ODDER NEWS: Blade Battles IRS ?Daywalkers?

h1 Monday, January 14th, 2008
  • Who ever would have thought that Wesley Snipes' refusal to pay taxes on his earnings from the Blade movies would end up setting some kind of precedent in future tax law cases?
  • A Tennessee man is being charged with assault after pulling a knife on three men he suspected of drawing a penis on his face after he passed out at a party. What a dick.
  • A crystal meth user who OD'd and went into a 2-week coma ended up suing her drug dealer...and won.
  • Add me on STD Friends! (via Max)
  • Some environmental activism group in England is now organizing "eco-dating", for people who love both speed-dating AND the environment. Personally, I'd take my chances with the STD crowd: less self-righteous sermonizing, more of a chance of getting laid.