Archive for November, 2007

The Office: Without Any Writers?

h1 Friday, November 30th, 2007
Seeing as there wasn't a new episode of The Office on NBC last night, this Friday will, sadly, remain recapless (meaning I'll finally get to go home before 8 PM - yay for me!). So what are we left to do? Myself, I'm going to go watch 30 Rock online (no spoilers, please), the one show that, along with The Real Housewives of the O.C., keeps me going during the week. While I do that, and while you get your mournin' socks on, take a look at the following video, put together by Charlie Todd and some of the other funny guys from UCB NY, which asks the question: What would The Office be like without any writers? The answer: Ummm pretty much what your office is probably like now. Enjoy!

Anyone Can Direct Britney?s New Video, Seriously.

h1 Friday, November 30th, 2007
From COLLEGE CANDY -- If Britney Spears tired as hard to get her kids back as she does to get her fans back...well, she'd still be working on it. Next up, direct her video for Piece of Me! Find out the details, after the jump! Direct Britney Spears Next Video!

britney spearsCalling all film majors! Think you know how Britney’s next video for “Piece of Me” should look? MTV wants you to direct it!

MTV’s “Britney Spears wants a Piece of You” contest kicks off on Monday and is calling for die-hard Britney fans to put together a video counterpart to the official video Brit shot this week. But what if you’ve never submitted anything to YouTube? (get with it, people!) It’s no problem.

To enter the contest all you have to do is download the MTV Video Remixer. Then you pick the shots you wants to use, mash them together and –viola!– you’ve got a submission! The video can be up to 3:34 in length and the winner will premiere on TRL on December 20th.

But you better get on it quick! Entries are due by December 14.

Having your video premiere on TRL is cool and all, but the true prize is having your video premiere before the official one. That won’t surface until Janurary.

Britney Spears is lazy and slow? Shocking.

I LIKE TO WATCH: I Know Who Killed My Desire To Watch Movies Ever Again

h1 Friday, November 30th, 2007
For this week's edition of I Like To Watch, we strapped our homedog Brian Faas into a chair and held his eyelids open with futuristic clamps like in A Clockwork Orange, then forced him to vomit his way through Lindsay Lohan's I Know Who Killed Me, the idiotic movie inspired by idiotic Bratz dolls, and The Namesake, whatever that was. He may not have liked it, but he watched. Oh yes he did.

Quickies: Bride of Chucky

h1 Friday, November 30th, 2007

Jennifer Aniston gets nose job number two. (City Rag)

Brad Pitt isn’t allowed to get naked on the big screen anymore. That Angelina is one selfish bitch. (Webster’s)

Rachel Bilson’s virginal bottom in white denim. (Drunken Stepfather)

Jack Nicholson’s guaranteed to dry up your nether regions, ladies. (CelebSlam)

Marie Osmond’s tiny evil doll likeness, just in time for the holidays! (Ayyyy!)

Tila Tequila isn’t really a gay?! Then her show is… a fraud? No shit. (MollyGood)

Penelope Cruz sporting one big-ass bow. (I’m Not Obsessed)

Two girls, one cup… and one grandma. (timekiller)

The Two Best Horse-Related Videos on The Internet

h1 Thursday, November 1st, 2007
Sometimes, Youtube really outdoes itself with their "related videos" section. You see, this morning we received an e-mail from a coworker, whose father sent him the following video featuring something we never even knew existed: Horse Dancing! (Or is it prancing?) This little filly busts a hoof to jazzy MIDI-file versions of Lady Marmalade and Lionel Richie's "Hello", plus a bevvy of other tunes. And the fact that the announcers also have a mild orgasm during the performance only enhances its hilarity. Yes, it's 6:30 minutes long, but worth every second of your time:
Not soon after watching it for the 4th time did I notice a related video, intriguingly titled "Patches: The Coolest Horse". How cool is Patches? Let's just say this horse answers the phone and tucks himself in. answers. the. phone. and. tucks. himself. in. Sure, his owners drive a car covered in sh*t and feed their horse cow meat (which seems oddly perverted), but they also gave Patches his very own bedroom! Aww. Must See Video after the jump.
I never knew horses could be this Genius Davis!

A Handy Guide to Telling the Difference Between Luis Guzman and Rick Aviles

h1 Thursday, November 1st, 2007
R AVILES.JPGToday's Page Six has a funny item from one of our favorite character actors of all time, Luis Guzman. It reads:
LUIS Guzman has appeared in nearly 100 movies and TV shows over 30 years - but people know him best for a film he wasn't even in. "To this day, I am recognized as the guy who killed Patrick Swayze in 'Ghost,' " Manhattan-born Guzman tells Page Six. "Only that wasn't me - it was an actor named Rick Aviles. It's weird, but that's the role I'm known for."
This is abominable, people. Luis Guzman, or "The Gooz", is one of Hollywood's finest actors! And he's being confused for another dude who kind of sort of looks like him and was in one hit movie! Which is why we would like to do Luis Guzman a favor to help him receive the recognition he deserves. So here A Handy Guide to Telling the Difference Between Luis Guzman and Rick Aviles. Let's get started: Rick Aviles: Was born in 1952 in New York, New York. Luis Guzman: Was born on New Year's Day in 1957 in Cayey, Puerto Rico. Rick Aviles: Was a stand-up comedian before his big break in the 1981 movie Cannonball Run. Luis Guzman: Did social work before landing his first part in Crocodile Dundee 2 as Hunter. Rick Aviles: Has had supporting roles in Joe's Apartment, Waterworld, The Godfather: Part III, and The Secret of My Succe$s. Luis Guzman: Has had supporting roles in Boogie Nights, Traffic, Punch-Drunk Love, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, and Anger Management. Rick Aviles: Passed away at 42 years old after contracting HIV as a result of heroin abuse. Luis Guzman: Is still alive.
Luis Guzman: Lives with his wife and 5 children in Vermont. Rick Aviles: Is no longer living. Luis Guzman: Pronounces his first name "Loo-ee." Rick Aviles: Pronounces his name "Rick". Luis Guzman: Is the greatest living American character actor after only about 10 other guys. He is also the only man who could have improved upon the Werewolf Bar Mitzvah video simply by appearing in it. Rick Aviles: Is a terribly tragic Hollywood story. Also he killed Patrick Swayze in Ghost. We hope this clears things up, Loo-ee!