Celebrity Bathwater

From COLLEGEHUMOR -- A list that sums up pretty much everything you'll encounter in your college experience, as forecasted by National Lampoon's, the premiere authority on such matters: * The president of the student government will have actual power. * Famous bands will often show up and play at random house parties. * The dean is evil, as is his wormy assistant. * There's a black guy. One black guy. And guess what? He's your buddy. * Failing a class has absolutely no consequences. * Your dorm room will have the following amenities: a private bedroom, a balcony, a hot tub, naked women and enough room to move around. * An Indian kid with a funny accent will make your acquaintance and, eventually, help you out of a jam. * You'll never see, or hear from, your parents. The same goes for your friends from home. * Your roommate's younger sister will be super hot, totally into you, but way off limits. * RA? What RA? Feel free to spark up that huge bong sitting in plain sight on your coffee table! * One frat on campus will be exclusively for rich assholes, all of whom hate you and your ragamuffin friends. * The only girl you really like will be dating either the captain of the football team, a staunch young republican or the president of the above mentioned fraternity. * At some point you're going to have make a grand gesture in front of the entire school to save your frat and win back the heart of the girl who has mistaken you for an asshole thanks to a series of comic mishaps. * You'll win in the end. And then there will be a big party.