Celebrity Bathwater

We've worked overtime this week, and are psyched for a little 3 day RNR. Let's recap the excitement:

• We coined the "Reverse Savage", and hundreds of you point out that Ryan Reynolds was, in fact, a less than attractive kid.
• The Big Brother 8 contestants have a lengthy talk about Best Week Ever and, quite possibly, spinach.
• Millions of young boys start thinking about a career in science.
• Most Underrated Child Star Performance: Tori Spelling in Troop Beverly Hills.
• Miss South Carolina defended the herself, U.S. Americans, and the Iraq on The Today Show.
• We round-up the year so far with some BWE Halftime Reports, covering everything from big ladies, to TV, to sports, to human sex in leather pants.
• Aaaaaaaaand I met Brad Pitt.

Have a great three-day weekend, everyone, and we'll see you back here bright and early on Tuesday!

• Scientists are using the Pac Man video game in conjunction with electroshock therapy to figure out how fear works. Patients are now said to be deathly afraid of cherries, pretzels and brightly colored mumus.
• THEORY: When and if David Beckham goes bald (which, p.s., is already national news in England), he will look like one of the bad guys in Passenger 57. The good news? Him and Posh can totally exchange extensions!
• NBC is really pushing our buttons: They have just pulled out of their Itunes deal beginning this fall, meaning no $1.99 episodes of The Office! Guess we're gonna have to cancel our Thursday night Stoli Vanilla crawls this year.
• Somehow, even photographs of the largest spider web in the world are a million times more entertaining than Spiderman 3.
• Finally, last night we had the great pleasure of visiting the Hyt Me estate out in Water Mill, NY, for an exciting soiree. And while Guest of Honor Jason Bateman never materialized -- a serious blow to this Arrested Development devotee -- the house itself was sickkk. The kind of house that's so nice, you're convinced it's a set-up for some sort of drug-related murder, a la Tea Leoni in Bad Boys. And while we pretended to be much wealthier than we are, we're glad to report that Russell Simmons acted very friendly, and looked as harmless as Pinocchio in his little pink sweater vest. Anyway, the house is increds.

Ladies and gentlemen, the outtakes reel to end all outtakes reels. Here's a best of compilation, featuring Paul F. Tompkins, Sherrod Small, Frangela, Doug Benson and all your other favorite panelists cracking themselves and us up. The three of you still sitting at your desks right now are going to love it!

This video isn't new (judging by LaVar Arrington still wearing a Redskins uniform and seeming to be not completely useless), but stamp it into your brain as one of many eternal reminders of just how stomach-turning ESPN's attempts at innocuous, lighthearted Sports/Entertainment crossovers can be. Next week: Simon Asks "Who's NEXT?" (link via Kissing Suzy Kolber)

You can see the rest of the shots over at ONTD.

Britney’s song lyrics alone are grounds to take those kids away. (BWE)

Ashton Kutcher couldn’t look any gayer if he turned up in gay porno. (DListed)

Paris Hilton takes the money shot like a pro. (CelebSlam)

Jeff Goldblum gets hisself a piece of the Conan pie. (Popoholic)

$1500 for a beat-ass Versace dress — $30 for dry cleaning costs — looking better in it than Britney Spears? Priceless. (Jossip)

Balls of Fury sucks so much worse than you thought film about fucking ping pong ever could. (Pajiba)

The gossip pages are pretty cold today (yep, webpages have temperatures), and I can't help but think that some of the A-listers have taken an early vacation to their respective lake houses to committ their respective DUIs and overdoses in their respective private estates in celebration of the three-day weekend. Let's take a look at what goes on in the celeb world during a beautiful, clock-watching Labor Day Friday: Sienna Miller swore at a bunch of photographers. Ok, that's not so bad; not like she hasn't sworn at people publicly before, and it's not like what she did is illegal, but he did manage to throw in "See you in court, you f***ing rapists," making it pretty close to a newsworthy event. Maybe when Britney rests up, sleeps in Sunday and Monday, and comes back recharged for her VMA promos next week, she'll call some people rapists too so we can report on it. Over at Entertainment Weekly's website, the lead story is a photo gallery for the upcoming release of the video game Halo 3, which is more than three weeks from now. Not a video of Hayden Panettiere playing Halo 3 at some convention and messing it up and giggling while a bunch of zombie-ish nerds stare at her boobs? Not even one of Sienna Miller playing it and calling all the other players a bunch of ****ing rapists? Bummer. Surely something's going on over at TMZ, right? Oh -- Bobby Brown told a judge he wants to see his kids. I assume all the court dates that weren't right before Labor Day weekend were reserved for Lindsay or Paris or Nicole or Amy Winehouse or Pete Doherty or Steve Coogan or Brad Garrett or Andy Garcia or Wilford Brimley or S. Epatha Merkerson or the band Tonic or Bobby Brown circa 1999 or another alleged Kris Kringle or the old woman from "Mrs. Doubtfire" or, you know, anyone higher on the celeb food chain than Bobby Brown. Ah well, at least these websites are still doing their jobs, not resorting to some lame commentary complaining about how nothing happens in Hollywood the Friday before Labor Day. Did I say 'lame'? I meant "awesome." [cough]