Celebrity Bathwater

• Knut wins over our hearts, and for some of us single ladies out there, our wombs.
• SHOCK OF THE CENTURY: Anna Nicole Smith died with drugs in her system -- if only one of them would've been Trimspa, maybe she'd still be here with us today.
• Call us when the Cliffs Notes to the Sandra Bullock vehicle Love Potion No. 9 hits the stands!
• Elton John hits 60, and his party is a total "to do".
• Alex Blagg hits emotional rock bottom thanks to the writers on Lost. He is such a nightmare to be around on Thursdayz. JK! ;)?
• Does the MC in MC Rove stand for "Motherf**king C**ks**ker"? (Can "uc" what we're saying?) We much prefer the name DJ Comb-Rover.

Make sure to tune in to Best Week Ever tonight at 11 pm for guaranteed "happy fun good times" (as they say in Japan)!

Tonight on Vh1 at 11pm ET, it's a brand new episode of Best Week Ever, and we're gonna have some great guest stars. Maybe Macy Gray. Maybe her anatomy. Who knows, it's gonna be awesome! Also, for this week's Best Week Ever Drinking Game, take a big slurp of your booze every time we mention, well, drinking.

What'cha guys doing this weekend? Me, I'm gonna be parked in my La-Z-Boy, in total darkness, guzzling scotch and smoking unfiltered cigarettes while watching this clip on an endless loop, over and over until Monday dawn's early light. The way she gracefully glides her way through the teeming crowds of adoring women. The way she so suggestively rubs her forbidden ladyflower atop the quivering petals of that tasteful floral arrangment. It's almost too much for my aching loins to bear.

• Police arrested a man who came to be known as the Gin & Tonic Bandit, after he repeatedly showed up to the same restaurant, ordered two G&T's and a steak, then ditched the bill. Nice work coppers, but you'll never be able to stop me, the New York Media Party Scotch Marauder!
• Awesome news, meth-heads! Now you can get your crystal in an assortment of candy colors and flavors, which means that staying up for weeks at a time, taking random electronics apart, and scratching the open sores on your face will now taste DELICIOUS!
• President Bush decided to swing by the Walter Reed Hospital to drop a big "my bad" on all the soldiers who got wounded in the war they shouldn't have been fighting in, then denied adequate health care when they got home.
• When a woman recently choked on a piece of fruit, her dog jumped on her chest, effectively accomplishing the Heimlich manuever and saving her life. She said she was relieved to be alive, and super-relieved things didn't escalate to a mouth-to-mouth situation.
• Pictures of people protesting circumcision are sort of hilarious.

Mary-Lynn Rajskub-- 24's Chloe O'Brien to you and me-- has shed her CTU gear to sexy-it-up in Geek Monthy magazine. Edgar Stiles must be rolling over in his grave. As a huge 24 fan and lifelong heterosexual, these pictures are probably the best thing to happen to me all week. Sad, I know, but it isn't every day a woman that you secretly suspect is hot loses two layers of work clothes and parades around in a leather halter top brandishing guns. Well, it isn't every day for me (if it is for you, I'm incredibly envious. Are you hiring?) Click here for more Chloe pics. Then, if you think you can handle it, reacquaint yourself with last week's Pam pics. March has definitely been the month of Geeky TV Girls-- I'm dreading April already.

Us Weekly writes a nipple-themed letter to Victoria Beckham. (Hollywood Tuna)

Elizabeth Hurley still the hottest thing to come out of Britain. (Popoholic)

Katie Holmes caught without her escape plans! (popbytes)

Michelle Rodriguez in a bikini. (ICYDK)

Jessica Simpson vs. Kate Beckinsdale: ass crack edition. (CityRag)

Halle Berry’s boobies. (Egotastic)

Singer Courtney Love has gone under the knife again in an attempt to look more “natural.” The Post-Chronicle reports

Courtney Love has undergone a second rhinoplasty procedure to enlarge her nose and [have] her previously enlarged lips reduced. Courtney wrote on her blog: “I have my old nose back. I hated that nosejobby nose, it was like a little beak. I’ve had my nose fixed. It looks like the one God gave me so I’m happy not to have crazy lips and a crazy teensy unnatural little nose. All I care about is that my self esteem is limitless and intact, and that nothing and no situation affects my self esteem.”

So Courtney Love has self-esteem? How did that happen? I figured she was a self-mutilator always a bottle of whiskey away from blowing her own head off. You know, on account of the pastiness and ugliness and everything. All ugly people are self-destructive and suicidal, right? I wouldn’t really know, because I’m so fucking gorgeous. Seriously, this one time a little boy with epilepsy touched my face and he was healed. And I’m pretty such my vagina is a portal to immortality. Just ask my ex-husband — I fed him arsenic for a year straight and the bastard still didn’t die. Beauty as powerful as mine can be such a burden sometimes.