Celebrity Bathwater

• O FACE: Harry Potter looks like he's having almost a little too much fun in Equus. The horse, however, remains unmoved. (Daily Mail)
• 90'S THROWBACK: This picture of Matthew McConaughey surfing in Australia would've been super sexy, had the actor not borrowed his swim trunks from Kid and/or Play. (TMZ)
• MYSPACE IS YOURSPACE: Oscar Winner and Crush of the Week Ari Sandel's award-winning short was the first film to ever debut on Myspace. We can't tell if this makes him hip or douchetown, but we think it's the latter. (We want to be wrong, trust.) (United Press)
• IS THE DIRECTOR'S COMMENTARY EVEN IN ENGLISH?: The brilliance behind the Borat movie continues, as designers have created a DVD cover made to look like a pirated copy. Not a single word of English on the whole thing! (Slash Film)
• TERRIBLE IDEA: Making an Oscar montage longer? By the time the death reel is over, they'll have to add my picture to the thing. (Huffington Post)

• Two attractive teen girls straight up robbed a bank in a suburban Georgia grocery store. Sorority dues ain't cheap, people.
• Some Asian kid's column entitled "I Hate Blacks" was, for some reason, not met with the widespread acclaim he was hoping for.
• The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences is threatening to sue YouTube for hosting clips from the Oscars. If you want to see boring montages and figurative dances by spandex-clad shadow people, you're going to have to pay for it, buddy!
• The College Republicans have been staging "Catch the Illegal Immigrant" hide-and-seek games at campuses across the country, brilliantly illustrating how solid of a grasp rich white trustfunders have on the complex legislative issues impoverished workers face in our country today.
• And for all you REALLY bored officeworkers out there, the history of Minesweeper.

I'm at a loss for words here-- Travolta... leather... dancing... thrusting... just... Wow. From now on we can divide John Travolta's life into 3 simple segments: Travolta dancing in Saturday Night Fever, Travolta dancing in Pulp Fiction, and Travolta dancing on Ellen. Good luck making it through this clip without laughing... or cringing... or both. You have to love these Scientologists on daytime talk shows. You just have to.

During one of Judge Maria Lopez's sassy two pack-a-day judicial rulings, the raspy-voiced legal queen might have revealed a little too much information about her ongoing struggle with romantic unavailability issues. That Judge Mathis just won't give her the time of day! Also, on an unrelated note, what's up with that gay dude?

Britney Spears’ public undoing apparently has more to do with the baby blues than binge drinking and cocaine. TMZ reports:

Britney’s doctors have two operating theories — either that she suffers from post-partum depression or bipolar disorder. The doctors strongly believe post-partum is the problem. We’re told Britney, who is sticking it out at the Promises rehab facility in Malibu, is currently reading Brooke Shields’ book, “Down Came the Rain,” in which Shields reveals her battle with post-partum depression. As for substance abuse, doctors believe the drinking is a way Spears has coped with the bigger problem [of depression].

Ah, the umbrella of “post-partum depression.” It covers such a slew of maladies. Like that time I stabbed a cashier at McDonalds in the throat with a ballpoint pen for forgetting the shake with my order. That was all post-partum depression. Well, yeah, it’d technically been six years since I’d actually given birth to anything, but deep down on the inside I was obviously still depressed. Why else would I have put all those naked pictures of myself on the internet? Besides the money, I mean? Or set my ex-husband’s house on fire or driven my car straight into a light post? Those two bottles of Wild Irish Rose I drank just hours before don’t count. It’s post-partum, baby. I guess I’m just a victim of my own crazy uterus.

Last Thursday's episode of The Office returned it to Season 2 form, with enough Dwightisms, Jim-prankiness, Pam-angstyness and Michael-noyances to satisfy even the pickiest sit-com palates. Ryan makes the blatantly idiotic mistake of inviting Michael to speak at his business school, which Michael uses not so much for a business speech but rather to pass along the hundreds of cliches and senseless analogies that made us fall in love with him in the first place... perhaps our favorite being:

You need something to sell. Now this could be anything. It could be a thingamajig. Or a whosi-whatsi. Or … a “Whatchamacallit.” Now, you need to sell those in order to have a “PayDay.” And, if you sell enough of them, you will make a “100 Grand.” Satisfied?

Sure enough, the boss we love to hate redeemed himself at the end by comforting Pam about her wall-calendar worthy watercolors. After an evening of little to no attention from her coworkers, many of whom failed to show up, Michael's surprisingly sweet-natured compliments was just the thing to thaw Pam's cold heart... until he sprung a Chunky out of his pocket, of course. In other news, Roy may have lost weight, but he's still dizguzting. We've yet to touch upon the two best parts of the episode: 1. Dwight's attempt to trap and kill a bat that managed to make its way indoors, along with Jim's subsequent morph into a vampire, and 2. Ryan being moved to "The Annex" next to the perkiest girlfriend on earth, Kelly. We swear, we won't get too excited about the possibility of Jim moving back to his old seat, i.e. Pam-eye-contact-central... we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't, we won't! The deleted scenes this week are highly controversh -- Team Pam folks will want to take a deep breath before watching Karen engage in something less than ladylike and a touch immature. We think the decision to pull it from the show was a smart one. Place your bets for how much longer Karen and Jim are together. We're going for 3 to 4 more episodes. And/or years. Sigh.