Celebrity Bathwater

• O FACE: Harry Potter looks like he's having almost a little too much fun in Equus. The horse, however, remains unmoved. (Daily Mail)
• 90'S THROWBACK: This picture of Matthew McConaughey surfing in Australia would've been super sexy, had the actor not borrowed his swim trunks from Kid and/or Play. (TMZ)
• MYSPACE IS YOURSPACE: Oscar Winner and Crush of the Week Ari Sandel's award-winning short was the first film to ever debut on Myspace. We can't tell if this makes him hip or douchetown, but we think it's the latter. (We want to be wrong, trust.) (United Press)
• IS THE DIRECTOR'S COMMENTARY EVEN IN ENGLISH?: The brilliance behind the Borat movie continues, as designers have created a DVD cover made to look like a pirated copy. Not a single word of English on the whole thing! (Slash Film)
• TERRIBLE IDEA: Making an Oscar montage longer? By the time the death reel is over, they'll have to add my picture to the thing. (Huffington Post)

George Bush says standing next to Shaq is "an awe inspiring experience." We'll cut him some slack and try not to mention that maybe he should reserve such high compliments for the troops who are serving our country instead of professional basketball players. Whatever. We won't judge him for that. Instead, we'll judge him for not being able to dribble a basketball. Maybe he should stick to cheerleading. [skip ahead to the 3:20 mark]

• Two attractive teen girls straight up robbed a bank in a suburban Georgia grocery store. Sorority dues ain't cheap, people.
• Some Asian kid's column entitled "I Hate Blacks" was, for some reason, not met with the widespread acclaim he was hoping for.
• The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences is threatening to sue YouTube for hosting clips from the Oscars. If you want to see boring montages and figurative dances by spandex-clad shadow people, you're going to have to pay for it, buddy!
• The College Republicans have been staging "Catch the Illegal Immigrant" hide-and-seek games at campuses across the country, brilliantly illustrating how solid of a grasp rich white trustfunders have on the complex legislative issues impoverished workers face in our country today.
• And for all you REALLY bored officeworkers out there, the history of Minesweeper.

“Our Daily Bread” does in one half-hour what ten years of PETA couldn’t do with all their pictures of naked chicks. (Pajiba)

Britney Spears lives the hobo life in a previously used bikini. (Egotastic)

Jessica Simpson thinks her schnozz is her best feature. (ICYDK)

A little John Travolta and Scientology apparently could have saved Anna Nicole Smith. (BWE)

Every drug Paris Hilton’s ever done. (CityRag)

Kimberly Stewart pays off FHM. (CelebNewsWire)

I'm at a loss for words here-- Travolta... leather... dancing... thrusting... just... Wow. From now on we can divide John Travolta's life into 3 simple segments: Travolta dancing in Saturday Night Fever, Travolta dancing in Pulp Fiction, and Travolta dancing on Ellen. Good luck making it through this clip without laughing... or cringing... or both. You have to love these Scientologists on daytime talk shows. You just have to.

During one of Judge Maria Lopez's sassy two pack-a-day judicial rulings, the raspy-voiced legal queen might have revealed a little too much information about her ongoing struggle with romantic unavailability issues. That Judge Mathis just won't give her the time of day! Also, on an unrelated note, what's up with that gay dude?

Bob Dylan and Dr. Seuss are poets. Sure, Dylan's poems tend to be about wars and women while Seuss' poems are about green eggs and ham, but overall they're incredibly similar. That's why this website, Dylan Hears A Who, may just be the greatest thing ever. Head on over there now to hear a guy who does a spot-on Dylan covering "The Cat In The Hat", "Oh The Thinks You Think", and other Seuss classics. Actually, maybe that is Dylan performing. The man's been making music for so long, he probably did this in 1972 and doesn't even remember. Link via Hidden Track