Celebrity Bathwater

Celebrity Bathwater™ encourages you to put your favorite celebrities in a place where you can ogle them constantly without fear of anyone seeing (except for maybe the person who uses the computer to the left of you at work)

1024×768

Celebrity Bathwater™ — Being an enabler to your staring problem

Our guest this week, Mindy Raf, is a NYC comedienne who has made a name for herself as a regular contributor to CollegeHumor, a popular touring stand-up, the proprietor of a funny blog, and a featured actress on the celebrated Post Show online sketch comedy program. She’s also rather chesty. Anyway, we had her shuffle her iPod and share with us the first five resulting tracks. Judge her, ridicule her, then do your own shuffle and leave the results in the comments!

1. “I want to love you in my room”, Irving
2. “Boxing”, Ben Fold’s Five
3. “Barrier Reef”, Old 97’s
4. “Baby”, Rufus Wainwright
5. “O what a beautiful dream”, Elf Power

• Football superstar Terrell Owens reportedly attempted suicide by overdosing on pain medication. To find out what this means for your fantasy team, check out Eric Karabell’s emergency live ESPN.com chat at noon.
• The drummer of Papa Roach has incited a feud with the bassist of Fall Out Boy. Authorities (and fans of good music) are hoping it reaches a bloody conclusion sooner rather than later.
• Lawyer Howard K. Stern has revealed he’s the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby. And as her lawyer, he’s entitled to 11.2% of that baby, which he plans on collecting ASAP.
• Paris Hilton is facing drunk driving charges stemming from her arrest on September 7. The LAPD wants to prove the point that celebrities are not above the law… and they plan on continuing to make that point until they let her off with nothing but a warning.
• Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin always felt he would die early. He started feeling that way when he noticed his job description included the words “hunting” and “crocodiles”.

Do you believe in curses? Well, everybody who roots for the Seattle Seahawks or who drafted Shaun Alexander in their fantasy league does. The legendary John Madden has struck again!

Is it the Madden cover jinx? Seahawks star Shaun Alexander, the latest to grace the cover of the game, is the latest to get hurt. Alexander is out indefinitely with a broken foot. [keep reading]

If you head over to Snopes.com you’ll learn that yes, the Madden cover jinx is very, very real. From Eddie George to Donovan McNabb, every single player who has graced the cover of Madden has been cursed the following season. Broken bones, fractures, hernias; you name it. If you’re on the cover, you’re going to suffer.

Now if only USWeekly had a similar problem…

Last night’s episode of The Office touched on a very sensitive issue: coming out of the closet. Since we were too busy obsessing over Jim & Pam, though, we totally missed this scene.

You have to hand it to Michael Jackson: Whether or not the guy realizes it, the guy might be a creeptown genius. Because just when you think he couldn’t get any more nightmarish, any more weirdly scary-clown creepy, any more child-endangering, he manages to TOP himself. To wit: MJ is now targeting the only people possibly whiter than he is, and wishes to purchase land in Ireland… and open a Leprechaun Theme Park. Excuse me for a minute. Sorry about that.

That seriously sounds like SUCH. A. BLAST. Tiny little men helping you on and off the rides, springing up behind you while taking a leak on the “Pot O’ Gold.” Losing the grip of your child’s hand, then scrambling to locate your little one in a sea of small crying children and 48-year old dwarves in green hats… We’d almost rather take an eternal spin on the Insane Clown Posse Gravitron.