Celebrity Bathwater

• Paris Hilton is convinced she's going to be going up against Charlize Theron for movie roles. But only if House of Wax 2 has a potential Oscar winning female lead written in, naturally. 
• 15-year-old Emma Watson has been photographed kind-of drinking beer. Corona doesn't actually count as beer, does it?
• Elton John is throwing a lavish Oscar party. In a related story, Elton John is still gay.
• John Travolta is writing a romantic comedy. Kelly Preston, Xenu being eyed as possible love interests.
• Jodie Foster will deliver this year's Commencement Address at the University of Pennsylvania. Her advice to the class of '06? Rub the lotion on your skin or else you'll get the hose again.
• There was a black-out on the set of Regis & Kelly today. And no, it has nothing to do with Regis or alcohol. This time.
• Eva Longoria is ready to have a baby. Which works out perfectly, because I'm ready to be a father. Call me.

Yes, jokes about President Bush's inability to properly communicate are getting a little old, but comedian Andy Dick's short film about this Presidential Speechalist is still pretty goshdurn funny. 

• Jen and Brad want to move on so bad they lowered the asking price of their Bev Hills mansion to just $24.9 million. Come on, it's a bargain.
• Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are reportedly pregnant. We'll refrain from making a joke here--that baby's got enough problems.
• Britney Spears at Mardi Gras takes a break from nursing baby, to nurse some beads.
• Lindsay Lohan says she's not so close to Paris or Nicole. But you know they'd so be there for each other if any of them ever needed anything.
• Vince Vaughn is having second thoughts about relationship with Jennifer Aniston. Has nothing to do with the nose job/ liposuction reports, why?

Tyra gets the "scoop" from Queen Latifah about whether she cleans up after her dog.

There are lots of reasons to love JC penny. It's the only place you can go to score a $59 diamond engagement ring and their satin housecoats make great Christmas gifts for Grandma. But the best reason to love the department store franchise is right here:

Angelina Jolie in petite outerwear.  (thanks ontd)

This weekend Dick Cheney shot his 78-year old buddy in the heart while hunting quail in a densely wooded area. Meanwhile, it's been reported that K-fed was also shooting guns with friends this weekend, but he chose to hunt in a residential, densely populated area. Amazingly he didn't hurt a soul. And while Cheney dressed in his usual upper-crust uniform of khakis and a hunting cap, Federline et al. got in touch with their inner-soldier in fatigues and beanies. So who would make a better Vice President? After this weekend, K-Fed's got the edge.