SOUNDTRACK: The Virgins Are Having The Best Week Ever!
July 4th, 2008
July 4th, 2008
July 4th, 2008

July 4th, 2008
Recently I had the honor and indescribable pleasure to sit down with BWE Panelist, Sherrod Small. He's been making us laugh on Best Week Ever (airing tonight on Vh1 at 9 and 11 p.m.!) since it BEGAN, folks. He's one of the originals and has much wisdom to impart. He's got lots of new projects he wants to tell us about - including his work with Chris Rock, The Tony Rock Project, his special bond with John Mayer, and, of course, the status of his d*ck. Enjoy.
BWE: I tried to do some internet research on you, because that's where our lovely blog exists.
Sherrod: Right, in the internet.
BWE: Yes, I know you're not used to it, because you're a TV star.
Sherrod: That's right. But…I do go on the internet.
BWE: You don't have a website.
Sherrod: No. But, I'm launching a website this August! I'm having a party in the city. I'm going to have a lot of big friends there, like John Mayer. Everybody's coming. But I'm trying to actually launch it right about my birthday on August 15th.
BWE: You could do it on 8-8-08.
Sherrod: I could, but the Olympics are dropping that day, and I might be in Australia with Chris Rock that day, because I help him write some of the stuff for the tour and what not. The tour is going strong right now, so I'm just going down there to check out some of the international stops on it.
BWE: So you help prep him for his tour?
Sherrod: Right, like, [mimicking a hairstylist] "your hair look good that way, you should wear your hair like that."
BWE: What can we expect from your new website?
Sherrod: There is going to be a lot of footage of me performing, and of different TV shows that I've done, like the A&E, AMC, VH1 stuff.
BWE: Is it going to be more of a static website or are you going to be blogging on it?
Sherrod: It's going to be blogging on it, it's going to be full blogs.
BWE: Full blog?
Sherrod: Full blog press, it's going to be bloggin, 24 hour bloggin.
Sherrod sexually harasses me, after the jump!
BWE: You know, your Wikipedia page is lacking.
Sherrod: Yes, Wikipedia? Then why don't you throw something on that for me?
BWE: Why don't you give me a tid bit that I can put on there, like personal information?
Sherrod: Ok…I'm huge.
BWE: Huge physically?
Sherrod: Yes. Exactly. Also, I was raised in Brooklyn. I went to a catholic school in Brooklyn. Then I went to college in Baltimore, Maryland at Morgan State University. There I started comedy and I opened a store too. Me and all my friends came from New York and went to college in Maryland, so we were like, hey lets bring sh*t down here so people won't have to go home to go shopping. We sold everything, f*ckin pagers and Parasuco's. We woulda sold slaves if they let us, you can quote me on that, SLAVES! And then I started out on the Chris Rock show, did sketches on Conan O'Brian, then I was a writer and producer on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. Then Best Week Ever started, and I was like fuck you Colin.
BWE: What advice would you give to someone wanting to be on Best Week Ever?
Sherrod: If you want to get video taped writing what you want, you gotta suck a d*ck.
BWE: Hahaha.
Sherrod: No, I'm telling you, drop to your knees and suck it.
BWE: Right, no really...
Sherrod: I mean, put away your notebook and drop to your knees, stop laughing. My d*ck is out.
BWE: I can't help it, it's really funny, when I see something really funny, I laugh.
Sherrod: Haha, yeah I know.
[Laughter awkwardly dies down. Sherrod puts his dick away.]
Sherrod: But my advice to them, is just to ya know, try to be as funny as you can and in as many ways as you can, like whenever you get the opportunity, even if it is a blog, or you're trying to do stand up, or just acting or, you know, dancing in the subway….just know that your voice counts, I just don't want to hear it, and don't come to me.
BWE: So, you have a special bond with John Mayer.
Sherrod: That's right, I think his d*ck tastes funny, but everything else is great, he's really a chum, what a fella! He's a good dude. His d*ck just tastes funny.
BWE: You two made a big splash with your Chocolate Rain remix.
Sherrod: [singing] Chocolate rain, comin' down, on my body…
BWE: So did you do that in one take, or was it rehearsed?
Sherrod: One take. That was a one taker. And then when we did the boat ride, because me and Johnny did a boat ride to the Bahamas, and actually there were people with shirts on with me and his picture on it that played the song.
BWE: The shirt played the song?
Sherrod: The shirt played the f*cking song, and when I went up to customs, customs was like I've seen your face all day, I was like what are you talking about? And it was a person in the line that, customs let them jump the line to show me the damn shirt. And she pushed it and it sang Chocolate Rain. You know how much money I made outta that? None.
BWE: What websites, do you regularly visit?
Sherrod: I regularly visit JohnMayer.com and Tony Rock. He and I have been working on The Tony Rock Project. He's my cousin. He just sold a show to MyNetworkTV, and that's where my energies will be on that for like the next few months. As writer, performer, producer, everything. Write that in bold italic letters, Tony. Rock. Project.
BWE: For all the ladies out there, and the men…
Sherrod: 'Cause you know they want it too.
BWE: Everybody does.
Sherrod: Everybody wants a piece.
BWE: ...are you single?
Sherrod: Yes I'm single, single and mingle! I'm like George Clooney in the hood. 'Cause girls ya know, I would be settled down, but a lot of girls have problems with you havin' sex with other girls, and especially when they are there. So I like to keep it movin' as much as I… but you know, I've been in long relationships now, I've been in relationships. I know how to treat a woman, and I especially know how to treat a whore.
[Breaks table in half with his d*ck.]
Catch Sherrod on Vh1's Best Week Ever, every Friday night at 9 and 11 p.m.! Also, when his new website with 24 hour bloggin' launches, we'll be sure to bring you the scoop.
July 4th, 2008
So You Think You Can Dance is starting to get INTENSE, you guys. This was the first week that a really strong couple was in the bottom three - and clearly, from here on out we're going to have to get used to some of our favorite dancers laying it on the line and possibly going home.
The highlight of the evening was the mind-exploding performance of contortion-y popper, Robert Morane, who (sort of?) agreed to a dance off with Nigel's other favorite popper, Phillip Chbeeb. Nigel was clearly still bitter that Robert had quit back in Vegas, and it got kind of uncomfortable there for a second, because Robert didn't respond to the jabs. Nevertheless, I actually thought Robert's routine in the auditions was
better than what he did last night.
The show opened with a dance number choreographed by Tyce D'Orio, set to "Money Money" from Cabaret. The contestants were dressed up like they were getting an old timey photo taken at Six Flags. The dance was fun, and at the end they tossed fake money up in the air that had Nigel's face on it. Lest we forget that this is Lord Nigel's television program.
Find out who went home, after the jump!
Cat Deeley (is one step away from looking like Padmé Amidala) calls out the first two couples, Kherington & Twitch, and Katee & Joshua. As
expected, both are safe. Because Cat did the usual bait and switch in her reveal, both couples were "shocked" that they were safe, and their reactions were just a bit on the melodramatic side, don't you think?
Next out for the chopping block are Kourtni & Matt, Courtney & Gev, and Chelsie & Mark. Kourtni (her hair is punky!) and Matt are in the bottom three. Tabitha and Napoleon surmise that this is a result of them not connecting with the audience, particularly Matt. Courtney and Gev are also in the bottom. Nigel tried to make a joke once again about their height, but ended up just sounding like he was making fun of little people. Regardless, he thinks that this result
is no big deal because of the level we're at in the competition, it just stacked up that way. Chelsie and Mark are safe (naturally).
Finally, it's down to Thayne & Comfort and Jessica & Will. Obviously we're all sick of Jessica, but Will carries her through once again. Thayne and Comfort will be dancing (once again) for their lives. Mary was sad to see them in this position because she's seen them grow and believes Thayne is always there 100% for his partners. She also pointed out that he really stood out in the group number.
Next up, Robert Morane did his thing, to C+C Music Factory's "Gonna Make You Sweat" - a song that most of the teens in the audience had probably never heard before, which made me feel a bit old.
After the commercial break, we were subjected to another one of those Snuggle commercials for the "happy dance" contest - wherein a viewer is selected by the dancers based on a home video of them dancing. Honestly, I am thinking about submitting one, because how AWESOME would it be to go to the finale??? Any ideas on what I should do in my video?
Now for the solo dances. Everyone did a solid job in my opinion. Kourtni seemed not all there, though. Matt did a cool move where he fell the floor and kind of kicked his leg out, Courtney's routine was really electric and high energy, and Gev's hip-hop dance was super good. Comfort's was a repeat of what she usually does. The standout solo though was definitely Thayne, who danced to the Queen classic "I Want To Break Free." I really felt his personality was real in this one, and not so flaky and phony like it usually feels. It's obvious that the judges are going to have a very hard time choosing who to send home.
The band performing tonight is One Republic, performing their song "Say (All I Need)". It wasn't bad, your typical Coldplay knockoff type band with a dude on piano singing in the lofty ranges. But whoah, this dude REALLY LOOKS LIKE SPENCER PRATT, which is just so unfortunate for him.
Finally, we're down to the eliminations. Nigel talks to the girls first. He says that in his SEVEN seasons of American Idol, and FOUR seasons of SYTYCD (we get it, you're seasoned, okay?), he has never cared this much about the contestants. It was a tough decision and NOT unanimous. Courtney is safe. He then calls Comfort forward and tells her that she did not get his vote, but that others voted for her, and therefore she IS staying. That means Kourtni is gone. You can really see her heart break. I really liked her - and wonder if she was matched with someone like Twitch, if she would ever have been in the bottom three. BUT I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW NOW.
And for the boys. Gev breezes through to next week. Nigel talks to Matt next. He says that they feel that he came into the competition at a very high level, but has yet to grow from that stage, and therefore "we're going to call it a day with you tonight." Matt's final words were nice, "I've never laughed harder, and never had more fun doing what I love." Awwww.
My prediction was 50% correct this week, and now we're down to the top 12 dancers. HANG ON FOR THIS TILT-A-WHIRL OF COMPETITION! It's so much more than dancing...IT'S SO MUCH MORE.
July 4th, 2008
July 4th, 2008
Today is July 4, America's birthday, and dare I say she look fabulous at 232 years old. But while you're busy pounding beers and getting burnt and eatin' dogs and blowing your fingers up in your day-long birthday festivities, consider these other celebrities also born on July 4. Perhaps you could also do an obligatory birthday shot wishing one of these people a happy, happy:
1. American Royalty Kathleen Kennedy Townsend
2. Koko the Gorilla
3. Legendary actress Eva Marie Saint
4. Co-founder of Muslims For America Muhammad Ali Hasan
5. "The Most Beautiful Woman in the World" Gina Lollobrigida
6. American Idol Gina Glocksen
7. Deceased German Actor Wolfgang von Schwindt
8. The only President to ever be born on Fourth of July Calvin Coolidge
9. Puerto Rican Squirrels casting director Sean Paul Hackett
10. New York Yankees Owner George M. Steinbrenner III
11. New Orleans Saints Defensive End Will Smith (so close)
12. The World's Tiniest Gangster Meyer Lanskey
13. French teen actress Fanny Valette
14. My Blood Doesn't Clot Right production assistant Monte
15. America's Youngest Patriotic Actor Jaden Morgan, best know for playing "Baby"
16. Porn Star Eufrat
17. Former German Health Minister Horst Seehofer
18. The Scarlet Letter novelist Nathaniel Hawthorne
19. Film pioneer Louis B. Mayer
20. America's Most Treasured Playwright Neil Simon
July 4th, 2008